Man I've missed this kid!

My best friend joined the military early this year and went into basic while I was living in Georgia. Now that I'm home, things just aren't the same without him around. He got to come home for the holidays and I've been so excited that I haven't slept for FIVE days!

Perhaps I'm weird but bear with me a bit… I have missed him so much, but I think I forgot what it was about him I was missing. Does that make sense? For instance, today at lunch he would say something and I would suddenly realize that the something that he said was something that I missed. I miss that we can have entire conversations just by looking at each other. I miss having someone around who knows me so well. There are so many things I could say I miss, but my fingers are freezing and it's taken me about 20 minutes to get thus far because I have to keep warming my fingers every other word. So… This is a short post it's true, but I'm freezing. I just wanted to express how much I have missed him and how freaking happy I am that he is home for the holidays!

Bugs

I don't know why, but when people post on Facebook or any public something how much weight they've lost, or just when they tell me, it makes me super annoyed. I don't know if it's because I'm jealous or what... I'm sure I just don't know, but sometimes it makes me want to punch them in the face. It really bugs me though when they're skinny minnies and tell me they have 20 more pounds to lose. I hate it. I also hate when people post their diets and workout plans. Really? who cares? I don't care that you ate a completely sugar free meal. I do not care! I'm sorry for my ranting. There is a point, I promise! Here it is… The fam is starting yet ANOTHER diet plan. I decided yesterday morning that I need to see where I'm at so I can see what kind of goal I need to make. When I weighed myself, I was sure the scale was broken. I walked into my mom's room and asked her how accurate her scale is. She told me it's right on with her Dr.'s scale. I am super happy to say that I've lost 40 pounds since the last time I weighed myself which was right before I decided to do P90X (That lasted 4-ish days)
I've never been one to get the diet and exercise bug. In fact as soon as I start something new, I lose weight like crazy, then I see that and think, "Oh, I need a reward for that great effort!" Or, "I've been doing really well lately, I can take a day off." Unfortunately/Fortunately (This is a win/lose situation) This weight loss is not due to a diet and exercise program. It is due to the fact that stress does my body good! I have been so stressed lately about not having a job, needing a job, and wondering how I'm going to buy Christmas presents this year. I have been so blessed with miracle after miracle. When I came home, I had enough money to last me 3 months without a job. (All I had to pay for was my phone bill, so I still really didn't have a lot.) However random things would pop up here and there that would give me a little extra cash. Whether it was a job around the house someone wouldn't want to do, jury duty, or a 2 day job working for Time Out for Women. You would think with all these miracles going on around me that I would be less stressed out, but my brain doesn't work that way. My migraines have come back for a reunion tour. I get about 2 a week. I have ginormous knots in my neck and back which are causing my migraines. With a migraine comes nausea, with nausea comes loss of appetite, and with loss of appetite comes weight loss. (This post took quite the turn. I wasn't expecting to get into this.) I don't sleep. I just lay in my bed until 5:20am and then wake up 2 hours later when everyone else in the fam wakes up, which I'm sure is another cause for my migraines. I am going crazy!  I NEED A JOB!
For those of you wondering, this post wasn't going to be a serious one, but apparently my non-serious bone is still sleeping. :)

The week of Thanks

So last week is a bit of a blur. I'll try and tell all exactly as it happened, but I'm not sure I can do that. It may have helped if I had written the blog at the beginning of this week, but I'm not one to take the easy way out.

Sunday the 20th I was asked to give a talk in Sacrament meeting for the 27th. I also had to give a lesson in my Gospel Principles class. Which PS I LOVE teaching. I feel like I have grown so much and learned a ton from teaching that class. The talk I had to give was on humility and my lesson was on missionary work. I decided I like teaching a lot more than giving a talk because I can ask questions and get feedback. However, I really feel like my talk went well. It took me five days to prepare and I was SUPER stressed about it, but it's over now so I can breathe. Thursday of course was Thanksgiving and it was amazing. I made cranberry sauce for the first time. For as long as I can remember we've never had cranberry sauce in our Thanksgiving meal, and I wanted to try it. I like it. I like it a lot in fact.

Every Sunday a group of my friends holds dessert night. It's just a bunch of us getting together to play games. I have so much fun. I make dessert… hence the name of dessert night. However I didn't on Sunday because I got to talk to my best friend in the entire world, and I decided that was much more important since I don't get to talk to him very often and I treasure the moments I get to talk to him. A few people told me we can't call it dessert night if I don't make dessert for them. We'll have to come up with a new name. Lucky for them… and me… some other people brought some food.  I schooled the guys in a good game of Mario Kart. PS thank you to my friend Austin who vouched for my amazing skills during Mario Kart. The guys thought I would lose because I'm a girl. Their words. Not mine. Actually I asked if that was the reason and they said it was, so technically my words, but I spoke truth.

This week… Monday we didn't have FHE so a group of us went to a friends house and watched Captain America. It was amazing. I am super excited for The Avengers to come out. SUPER excited about it.

Tuesday, I watched White Christmas with the parents while sitting next to the warm fire. I love that movie. It always puts me right into the Christmas spirit. I'm super excited for Christmas.

Wednesday I had institute, which I love because a) it gets me out of the house, and b) it's always spiritually uplifting.

Still trying to find a job and I'm going a bit crazy, but I have hope! I pray my guts out before every interview, but nothing has stuck yet.

Well, until next time!

Answers

About a month ago someone in my ward gave a talk on receiving answers to our prayers. She said often times we receive answers to our prayers when we least expect them. Well, on Sunday I was sitting during the sacrament and I was praying my little heart out. As soon as the talks started, I knew it was going to be one of THOSE Sundays. You know the ones where you get 5,000 answers all at once and all of them are to BE PATIENT. I tell you what, I have never been one to enjoy the virtue of patience. I am the type of person, if I'm giving someone a ride and they are going to make me late, I will leave them. I used to tell my roommates that if they wanted a ride to church with me, they had to be ready at a certain time, because I do not wait.  I think telling someone to have patience is a nice way of saying settle down and stop whining at me. Well, that night, I went to our dessert night, and I started talking to my friends about my concerns and my sacrament meeting full of, "Anna be patient." I had this blinding flash of the obvious… I am a control freak. I hate not being in control. I hate having to depend on other people for anything. As I shared this with my friends, one of them said, "Yes, but you have to realize who you are having to depend on." I guess I didn't think of that. Which is stupid because of how obvious it is to me. It's not like having to depend on someone who has never come through for me. I am depending on the one person who has never let me down. The one person I am always able to count on. The one person who knows me better than I could ever know myself. It doesn't mean that this patience thing is easy. It doesn't mean that I'm going to like giving up my control, but it does mean that I am going to try as hard as I can to just be patient. He knows what He's doing. He knows what I need to do in order to find true happiness. I just wish He would hurry up and get me there. The funny thing is, that I had a 7 year plan. I was going to go to culinary school, which depending where I go is 2-3 years. Then I will have my restaurant for 3-4 years again depending on the school. That is 3-4 years I will have of being a workaholic and I wont be MIA from my family. So when I am 32 years old, I can start my family. I was all sorts of excited about my 7 year plan up until a couple weeks ago. Now, I just have to put my trust in my Father in Heaven because He knows what is best for me. It shouldn't be as hard as it is, but I'm trying as hard as I can.

What am I going to do with my -

One of my really good friends passed away yesterday from complications after his airplane crashed. Jared Despain was one of the kindest people I have ever met. He would drop everything to help a friend in need. I met him when I was living in the Nisson Towers at Dixie State College. He was one of the first people to befriend me. We would sit up and watch movies all night, or just sit and talk. He was one of the greatest people. He had the greatest sense of humor. He will most definitely be missed!

It made me think of a year ago when I read a poem entitled, "What will you do with your dash?"


I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone.
From the beginning ……… to the end.

He noted that first came her date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.
(1934-1998)

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth….
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars… the house… the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard…
Are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile…
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy’s being read
With your life’s actions to rehash…
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?


There were so many people who loved Jared because of how willing he was to serve. I hope that one day I can be like him in that way. My life is most definitely better having known him.

Scoot on over to Scoot's

Alright, here's the thing. Last year a friend of mine started Dessert Night. People from our ward would come hang out and bring/eat dessert while we played games and such. I seriously look forward to dessert night all week long. I love meeting new people, but most of all I love making food!!! Last summer by best friend, John, told me I should open my own restaurant. That got the wheels in my head turning. I loved this idea. I went to UVU and talked to the head of their Culinary Arts program and she told me all I had to to do to get in is take math up to 990 and a culinary math class. I tested out of english. It was rather discouraging because I tested into arithmetic so it would take me about 3 years to finish math, then I could apply to the culinary program. However, this is what I wanted to do and nothing was going to stop me! Well, I was asked if I wanted to move to Georgia, so I guess something was going to stop me. I left and met someone there from Phenix City who finished culinary school and told me if I did an apprenticeship it is more accredited than going to a school to get your certificate. I asked him if he knew of any and sadly I only remember one. Sadly because I feel like I would have a better chance of getting in if I could apply to more than one. Upon looking into The Balsams I have found out that they are a 3 year program, they pay me because I'm an employee, I'm housed on the resort for free, and they pay for my food. Completely ideal, no? I have asked 2/3 people I am going to ask for letters of recommendations. Tonight I'm asking my third person. After that all I need to do is get my high school transcripts sent over to them and I will have officially applied. If this doesn't work out I guess I'll have about 5 years of schooling left before I can open my own place. I am so excited that I have finally found what I want to do with my life. I am also really thankful that I have people who believe in me and don't discourage me about doing what I want to do. Oh, and in case you were wondering… My restaurant will be called Scoot's and the tagline will be Scoot on over to Scoot's. There's a story behind it, but I'll just tell you this… One of my nick-names is Scoot. Hence why my restaurant will be called Scoot's.

Who needs sleep anyway?!?!?!

I have not been able to sleep for the life of me these past few nights. I don't know what it is that's causing a lack of sleep, but all I want to do is sleep!! Once I want to wake up feeling awake instead of groggy. Why can I not just fall asleep?!?!?!?!

I ❤ BYU Football!!!

OK I love me some BYU Football season. It is most definitely without a doubt my favorite season of the year. Today we kicked off the season with a crappy win, but it was a win none-the-less.

Today I did all my jobs early so I could be done by the time the game started, then I had a plan to go to the temple after the game had ended. However, during the 4th quarter, I was getting really mad at my team. (Yes... I do believe that they can hear me yelling at them, no matter where they are playing! I am in Bronco's head!) I decided that if I had to watch them lose, I was going to be angrier than I already was, so I just decided I would leave and go to the temple while I was only kind of angry. As I was turning onto Temple View, I decided I would listen to the game, just to hear the score. Turns out BYU had scored 1 touchdown, and I thought, I would be OK now, because at least the final score wouldn't be 13-0. As I pulled into the parking lot to the temple, Ole Miss fumbled the ball and BYU scored another touchdown. I screamed!!! It could have been Greg Wrubel's excitement that caused it, but I had to sit in the car after I parked to A) calm down, and B) listen to the end of the game. As I walked into the temple I was half tempted to tell everyone, "BYU won... 14-13." I did however, have perma-grin. So like I said it was a crappy win, but a win none-the-less. All I can hope for is that BYU kicks it up a notch when they play Texas next weekend!! Hooray for BYU football!!!

What happened?!?!?!

I have two very amazing parents who so lovingly drove to Georgia to come pick me up. We loaded up the car (I mean LOADED up the car. I was sardined in the back seat.) and headed out of Columbus on Tuesday morning. We drove through some interesting places like Toad Suck Arkansas. We arrived home on Thursday. When we pulled into the driveway there was a super cute drawing and the words, "Welc-om Home" my 7 and 4 year old nephews wrote for us. I took pictures but the sun was weird so you can't really read it. Friday and Saturday were spent with family and friends. Sunday, I was SUPER excited to go to church. I don't really know why, but I could hardly wait. All the singles wards in our region now meet at the same building. I had to park clear in the boonies. When I walked in there were people EVERYWHERE!  After talking a bit with people I hadn't seen in a while, I was led into the Relief Society room. It felt so great to be back. They were doing Relief Society interviews and my it was my turn, so I walked out and was trying to find the room they were in, when the bishop spotted me. He asked me to follow him into his office. He told me he was going to talk with the Relief Society Presidency to see if they needed me in there and he let me go. As I walked out I saw two of my cousins, so we sat down and talked for a while, Suddenly the bishop came out and told me he knew where I needed to be, so I went back in and received the calling to teach Gospel Principles. I went to Gospel Doctrine and was taught an amazing lesson on the Atonement. During Sacrament meeting when they sustained me for my calling, everyone kind of laughed because it was my first day back and I already have a calling. My records hadn't even been transferred yet. They were on Monday though! I went to the LDS unemployment center in Springville to see if they could help me get a job. They were telling me I may need to change my information myself, but when I logged on, my ward had already updated everything. I love this ward so much and I know this is where I need to be. I am still in need of  a job though, so if anyone knows of somewhere that is hiring, please let me know! I'm not such a fan of the job hunt!

Hard time...

OK I have a confession. I feel like I am made fun of A LOT by my family... I'll admit, I make it EXCEPTIONALLY easy. So when I have the opportunity to give someone a hard time, I do it. However, I admit, I do sometimes go a bit too far. So here's my story...

One of my amazing sisters had her 5th child on May 31st and I found out today. July 8th. So I decided I would give her a hard time. Now... I'm not married so I don't have children (yes I know you can have children out of wedlock. I choose not to. I tend to believe "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage.") I cannot begin to fathom how insanely busy this amazing woman is. So, I just would like her to know that despite my joking and teasing I don't blame her for not telling me that I have a new nephew and I just can't wait to meet him when I get home!

Almost 1 year

Can you believe it was almost 1 year ago? This isn't the actual car I was in. In fact the guy hit us a little bit further back than that, but only by about 2 inches.

As I have been thinking about that day, I constantly remember just a couple weeks before the accident. I was in the car with my best friend and we were driving from my house to his which isn't even a mile and the speed limit is only 25mph. I refused to put my seatbelt on because we weren't going that far. He stopped in the middle of the road and said to me, "Anna, yours is a life worth saving." Needless to say, I clicked it. I still wont admit that it was his words that made me do it. It was definitely the car coming up behind us that made me do it.

2 weeks after that I was in the Macey's Grocery store parking lot and I made a VERY conscious decision to NOT put my seatbelt on. I can still hear the voice in my head telling me I needed to put my seat belt on and I stupidly ignored it. My friend who was driving didn't even know I wasn't wearing it. She told the police I had it on. Still to this day I can't believe I walked away with a just a bump on my head. I should have been thrown through the windshield. I still cry when I wonder what my roll is on this earth. Why was I kept alive when I clearly shouldn't have been? What am I supposed to be doing? I am positive this is not a day I will ever forget.

What I learned today...

I didn't go to church today because when it was time for me to get up I had only had 2 hours of sleep and I could barely open my eyes to turn my alarm clock off. So, I slept. When I woke up I took a shower, I'm sure everyone who lives here will be thankful for that. :) I made some banana bread, then I decided I needed some uplifting. So, here's what I learned today.

Did you know that you can type LDS into itunes store and there are TONS of free podcasts you can download? Currently I'm listening to the priesthood session of April 2009. This podcast has all conference sessions from April '04 to April '11. It includes YW sessions, Relief Society sessions, Priesthood sessions, and General sessions. I love it. Best learning day ever! I know that it doesn't  compare to being able to go to church and take the sacrament, but it will have to do for the week. My week is always a ton harder if I don't get to church to partake of the sacrament and my mood changes. I'm really sad that I wasn't able to go, but that is one good thing about the church... I can do it next week. It's just getting through this week.

2 Steps Away

This video is from So You Think You Can Dance in '09. It is about overcoming fear. I love it. I think it is such an amazing dance so I wanted to share it. 

The Most Beautiful Heart

When I was at girls camp one year our leaders read us This Story and then gave each of us pieced together hearts. I don't know what started it, or what made us think of it, but after we were done my best friend Holly and I each took one of the pieces and traded. I don't know why, but I think of that day a lot. The two of us will always be there for each other. Even if we haven't talked for whatever reason. She is one of my very favorite people in the entire world and I am so glad we exchanged "heart pieces" that day!

4:00am post

I can't sleep because I have 10 gagillion things on my mind.

This is a really dumb thing to be thinking about at 4:00am but... have you ever done something really stupid and no matter how long ago it was, you still feel super dumb having done it? That's why I can't sleep. It was in November. Something I'm sure the person with me doesn't even remember, but I still feel SUPER STUPID. Does this happen to anyone else? You know that feeling you get too? Like you can't really breathe? I don't even know why I thought of it randomly. It's not something that is always on my mind. I don't know!! I sure wish I could just forget it and fall asleep.

On a side note, I've been contemplating lately about moving back home from Georgia. I'm sure that most of you can tell that I miss my family terribly and want nothing more than to be with them. I have really been thinking a lot about my little niece Audrey and how much I love that girl. When I went home in March Jaime asked me to pick the kids up from school. When SJ walked out he looked around to see if anyone was watching him, then he quickly gave me a side hug so no one would see him. He's already too cool for school. Audrey came out and as soon as she saw me she started running to me and jumped on me and wrapped her legs around me and just hugged me for like 30 seconds. I miss that little girls so stinking much! She then asked me not to go back to Georgia.

I've been thinking a lot about why I came... Mostly because people have been asking me a lot. I think I figured it out. I think my reason was to help me be a better person. In the 6 months I've been here, a lot has happened. I discovered a lot about myself. I've learned that I have the most amazing family in the world and I took that for granted. They are so willing to help me anyway they can. Mostly, I made the decision to go through the temple. I still remember the phone call I made to my dad that day. I don't think I'll ever forget what he said to me. I had just told him that I decided it was the right thing for me to do and he said, "I was going to call you today and tell you that the decisions you make today will effect the rest of your life." No one knew that I had been prayerfully considering going through the temple. I hope I remember the day I went the rest of my life. I will never forget how nervous I was. Mostly I hope to never forget the overwhelming amount of love I felt. Almost all of my family was able to make it. It was the best day I have ever had. I don't think I would have made the decision if I was still at home. Or if I had, I don't think it would have been for the same reasons. I am grateful that I have learned so much.

OH... I also learned that if my phone is dying I need to call or text someone to tell them that my phone is dying and approximately what time I'll be home. Otherwise, I get grounded. Sorry.

The Fam...

OK... I admit it. I'm a baby. I miss my family so much that it pains me! Since I got to Georgia I've been debating on if this was the right move. When I put my pros and cons on paper my number one con is always the same. I miss my family like crazy! When I went home in March for the Lady GaGa concert I was super lucky to have some of my plans with my friends fall through so I got to spend time with my mom and my sisters. I also went through the temple while I was home so I got to have most of my family with me. I have the worlds best family. I know that no matter what all of them will be there for me and with me when I need them to be. Although my temple date was set, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to go due to scheduling conflicts I had with my branch president and my stake president here. I was extremely lucky because every member of my family in Utah was there with me. I honestly can't think of a better day. Yes that day trumps the Chris Farley foundation for sure. :) I was so overwhelmed by all of the love. I know my family loves me but that day they were all at the temple for me. I couldn't have asked for a better trip to the temple. I often wonder if while I was in Heaven if I begged and pleaded to be placed in this amazing family. If I looked at this family with two amazing parents and six amazing siblings and said, "Please, can I just be with them? I will have seven of the best examples in the world. They will teach me and be patient with me as I make my own mistakes. Please send me with them?" Although I still kind of complain about the time my Uncle Jim tried to compare me to my sister Christy. "You know, Anna, when Christy was your age, she was just coming home from her mission. She didn't have blue hair." Thank you Uncle Jim, I will keep that in mind. And even though while I was growing up, I never brought my guy friends home because they would all fall in love with my sister Andrea, and I'll admit, I hated her for it. She is one of my very best friends now. Although Josh knows exactly what to say to make me cry, I know it's not on purpose. Whether he's asking me about my car accident that I 100% should not have lived through and I walked away with a bump on my head, or if he's asking me how work is going after I got fired. He can also make me laugh. The man does know his way through Salt Lake so when I get lost, he is always there to guide me to where I need to be. Joe knows his way around Columbus so when I get lost while on a delivery, he's always there to help me as well. Even though he loves to make fun of me for the stupid things I do and say. Melissa is always there when I need a friend. Jaime is always there when I need a break from everything. Then there are my AMAZING parents. There are no two people who will ever measure up to the greatness of these two people. They have taught me so much. I love them immensely. I must admit, hands down, I have the best family of all time and I miss them terribly. What I wouldn't give to have the best of both worlds.

My mom

When I was living in Provo UT, I was about to move back to Mapleton with my family. If I remember right, I think I had a week left in my apartment and no money to pay for gas so I hadn't been home to see my family in about a mont or so. One day I was sitting at my desk at work when I was working at the clinic and I started thinking about my mom and I started crying. Upon further analysis I realized that I missed her. I was living 20 minutes away from her during rush hour, and I missed her. I quickly realized that I needed to call her. I'm not exactly the type of person who can call just to say "I miss you." I need to have a reason. As the phone was ringing I was quickly going through my brain thinking, "What is my reason for calling her?" I heard her say, "Hello?" and I replied with, "Hey mom. I was just wondering, where are we going to put my garbage can when I get home? It will be too big for my room, and you already have one in the kitchen." The garbage can? REALLY?!?!? She sweetly informed me that we would figure it out and our conversation ended.

Now living in Georgia, which according to Mapquest is 30-32 hours depending on the route you take, I cannot express to you how much I miss this woman. She is my hero. She has always been there when I needed someone to talk to. She also always knew when I needed someone to talk to. She is hilarious. I love spending time with her. I remember when I was sick and she would play with my hair. She was the best at that. She taught me that if I want to have a black woman down deep inside, I can have a black woman down deep inside. She taught me, if ever I'm in need of an answer to anything, I can always find it in the scriptures and she could tell me which ones to look through. She is the best person I know. If I turn out to be half the person that she is I'll be pretty amazing! I love her so much.

I think my niece or one of my nephews took this picture and caught her off guard, but none the less, she is my mom and I couldn't ask for a better person to raise me!

I know it's Thursday... But...

Some guys in my branch think the song Friday by Rebecca Black is so horrible that it's hilarious. I personally think it's pretty funny too... until it's stuck in my head. I recently came across this version and well, it makes me laugh! Mom you have to watch the whole thing because one of the guests makes me think of you every time I watch it!

A trip to the Atlanta temple!

Being out of Utah I have had a lot of opportunity I don't think I would have had otherwise. I was asked to help out during the Atlanta Temple Open House on the 24th. I put booties on people as they walked in. Atlanta is a 2 hour drive from Columbus so I had to leave my house at 3:30am to meet by 3:45am so we could leave by 4:00am. For those who don't know, I don't sleep very well at night. In fact it is 2:25am and I am still very much awake... as I was that night. I set my alarm on my phone for pm because I am just THAT amazing! I fell asleep at 2:20am and by some miracle I woke up at 3:20am. I have no idea how. I did as much as I could in 10 minutes and ran out the door. They asked us to be at the temple 2 hours before our shift started. We got there at 6:00am, our shift started at 8:00am, and it ended at 12:00pm. As we were walking back to the car, my heel caught a rock just right and my ankle twisted and I went down. Another well known fact about me is I am a major clutz. I fall all the time! I took a picture of my two day old battle wounds so my road rash doesn't look as bad as it was. 

I jumped right up like I usually do. I didn't even know I was bleeding until I tried to wipe all the rocks off. I guess that's what happens when you fall all the time. All in all, it was a really great experience. 

Why do I do this to myself?

Lately I've been watching movies that make me cry. Not just one glistening tear cry, but full on bawl my eyes out cry. My favorite one is:

I love this movie. Not only does it make me cry, but it makes me laugh too. It's my favorite movie to cry to! I'm just sayin' that if I was married to Gerard Butler and he was writing me SUPER cute letters, I would have the same reactions as Hilary Swank does. Just sayin'!

P90... HUH?!?!

OK so I gave in. I bought P90X and we are starting tomorrow. I must admit that I'm more than scared. I'm almost passed terrified! Tonight we did the fitness test to see if we can really do it and well... all of us passed. I'm still quite afraid. I've had an on-going battle with my weight and I have mostly given up. I've decided that this will be my last resort. I figured that since I spent all this money on it, it will hopefully give me motivation. I'm going to do it and it's going to give me EPIC results! Well... it will be an early morning for us tomorrow, so I'll see ya in 3 weeks to tell you if I'm alive or not!

It's been one week

I flew home Wednesday the 16th. Unfortunately I could only stay for 1 week. I kept looking to extend my stay, but flights were way too expensive. I didn't get to do half of the things I wanted to... including get my hair done and I didn't get to see a lot of my friends. It was one crazy week. I got in super late Wednesday night. If I remember right I think it was actually 1:30am Thursday morning. Caleb and I were listening to some crazy guy give advice who had a disclaimer on his show stating that he was not a licensed professional. Some guy called in and said that his girlfriend cheated on him and his mom was a drug addict who chose drugs over him. Apparently that means this guy is addicted to love and just needs to cool his heels for awhile. Caleb and I were laughing really hard.

This is an old picture of Haden but I love it.

Thursday my mom took me shopping for my temple dress. What an adventure that was. We had my nephew Haden and he kept hiding in the clothes racks. When we were done, we had lunch at the Lion House Pantry. I drove back home and picked Jaime's kids up from school. I then drove to Macey's to get some Girl Scout Cookies!! We ate them while we watched the BYU basketball game. This picture is rather old but my mom is just so cute! I love her like crazy!

Friday morning I went and got the rest of my clothes for the temple. Caleb and I went to pick up one of our cousins from school and then we went to Los Hermanos! One of my favorite restaurants ever! I love it. We went to see Rango which I don't recommend at all. I think I lost a few brain cells. I was not a fan. When I dropped her off I got to talk to one of my favorite aunts for quite awhile. I have the best family!

Saturday mom and I went shopping for a dress I could wear to the temple. After that Caleb and I went to Winger's for lunch then straight to Lady GaGa. We were right up against the stage and I must admit it will be very difficult for any concert to beat the awesomeness of this concert. It was amazing! I loved it.

Sunday was church and Dessert night! It was a blast and I realized how much I miss all of my amazing friends! I do have the best friends ever! You just can't deny it.

Monday John and I went to dinner! It was way fun. Caleb, John, and I watched some movies after that. I miss those two like crazy!

Tuesday I went into the clinic I used to work for. I saw tons of people I haven't seen in a long time. Then I went to get me some new shirts because they don't have a Downeast here in Georgia and I love their t-shirts. That night I went to the temple. It was so amazing! I love it. I can't wait for the Atlanta temple to re-open so I can go again!

Wednesday I spent all day traveling. It was such a long day! I can't wait to go back home because I miss everyone so much and there was a lot I wanted to do that I just didn't have time to do. It was a great week! My shoulders are crazy sore due to the heaviness of my carry-on bags. My left arm is in so much pain right now! I couldn't really sleep last night because it hurt so bad... and I'm sick. That could also be a part of my none sleep issue!

TRADITION!

I love this movie! It is one of my all time favorites. It makes me laugh and cry and it is just an all around good movie! I started watching it this morning while I was getting ready for church. As I was watching, the very first line really stood out to me.

"...You might say every one of us is a fiddler on the roof trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. It isn't easy. You may ask 'Why do we stay up there if it's so dangerous?' Well, we stay because Anatevka is our home. And how do we keep our balance? That I can tell you in one word: tradition!"

The only things I would change in the quote are... we stay because we are tried and the way we keep our balance is through faith.

 In June of last year, I was having a really hard time. I remember praying a lot asking what the point of me being on the Earth was. I wasn't really doing anything with my life. I was in a job that I didn't see myself at for my entire life, but it was OK for the moment. I really wasn't going anywhere. Every time I would ask for the next step for my life, I got a "just wait" answer. I was going crazy and I just felt like I didn't have a purpose. I felt like I was just a waste of space and I was getting restless. I was done waiting. For those who know me you know I am not a patient person. I hate waiting. I kept praying to just let me be done if I wasn't doing anything with my life. This went on for about a month and a half and I had finally decided to stop fiddling and get off the roof to safety. I walked into Sacrament Meeting and sat down. I felt like I was just going through the motions. I know the church is true, but I feel like sometimes I just get set in my ways, and forget why I do the things I do. After Sacrament Meeting was over, I walked into Sunday School and sat down. Someone, who up until this point I didn't really know, came over to me and said, "I just felt like I needed to write you a letter." I waited until I got home to read the letter. I couldn't believe how inspired it was. This person wrote a full page letter about how I am such a good example and how much the Lord loves me. Basically it was a letter of praise to me. This person and I are now very good friends and I really look up to him. I hope that I can one day be as close to the Lord as he is and receive inspiration like that. That instance has really been on my mind lately. I don't really know why, so I decided to share it and hope that maybe someone needed to hear it. Perhaps you are looking for a way to serve someone and don't quite know how. I know I wouldn't be the same person I am today if I had not received that letter. 

Also I just wanted to add that I know my Heavenly Father knows me as an individual. That has been very apparent in my life today. There have been some things that I've been praying about that were answered for me today through someone I have never met until today. I know without a doubt that He loves me and He truly knows me. I am so very grateful for that knowledge.

My daily funnies!

My boss is Chinese and she cracks me up daily. I think it was last week she was on the phone with a customer and she was confirming their address and she said, "S like sexy, right?" I just started laughing. I just couldn't help it. We had to tell her that some people might be offended by that and to say S like Sam instead. We made her a list of words that went with letters. It was pretty great. She does and says really funny things daily. This is one reason I love my job so much. Today there were two great stories.

The first one is the funniest. Today a customer walked in and asked if we had brown rice. She looked at him and said, "We have white rice, put soy sauce it is brown." He just looked at me and I told him we don't have brown rice. I was trying so hard not to laugh. After he left we had a conversation about brown rice. She cracks me up!

As a preface to this story... Sandy is atheist. She hates talking about religion. She doesn't listen at all. Not that I've tried, I've just seen others try... After my last delivery today, I walked in and there were 3 people sitting in the restaurant. Two guys and a girl. I was sitting behind the counter waiting for my food to be done so that I could leave. (Sandy makes me dinner every night. She's awesome like that.) One of the guys turned to me and asked me if I would go to his church. I told him no and when he asked why I replied, "I already go to church." He asked me if I prayed and I said I do. He asked me how often and I said, "I pray once when I wake up and I don't stop until I fall asleep." The other guy he was with told me it was a really good answer but he didn't believe me. RUDE, right?!?!? Anyway the guy kept asking me questions about "my church." One of the last one he asked me was how I knew it was true. I responded with, "I've had many confirmations in my life that have told me that it is true." He asked me like what and Sandy said, "Lala, your food is done. You go now." I hadn't even noticed she had put my food in front of me, but she was practically pushing me out the door. I was laughing too hard I couldn't even say goodbye. It was pretty great. She doesn't understand why I would drive to Alabama to go to church when there are plenty of churches here in Columbus. She is very funny about religion. I love working with her though!

Best Valentine's Day!

First of all, I normally am very much not in favor of Valentine's Day. I think it's stupid. Maybe because I've never had a Valentine, but whatever. I like to be bitter. However, today was awesome!

When Chase got home from school, Jimmy was watching Land Before Time, so I was hiding in my room. Chase knocked on my door and when he came in, he gave me this paper. I only read what he wrote, so I didn't really understand because what he wrote was, "Love me. Kiss me. Hug me. It's Valentine's Day. Secret Surprise. We love someone." So I just thought, "Oh that's really sweet, he made me a Valentine. Then after I said thank you and he walked out, I noticed the top had the title, "A best friend is someone who..." Then he wrote "To Anna. From Chase." SO CUTE!!! I couldn't have asked for a better Valentine. I love these boys so much. They are so very sweet to me.

The second reason I loved today... I had to work. I love my job. As lame as it is... I love it. I don't get lost nearly as much. I mostly get lost in the apartment complex parking lots. I know where a lot of things are in Columbus now. Mostly work rocked today because I made $70 just in tips. Some guy gave me a $25 tip tonight. It was the best night ever. I am so happy to be here. I love it here. Thanks Manda and Joe for letting me live with you. I love you oh, so very much.

On a NASTY side note... I saw my first live cockroach. I was so disgusted! I don't get grossed out by bugs, but they are HUGE! Not to mention way super ugly. I am not a fan. I couldn't bring myself to kill it because I would have to get close to it. I went to put a box over it and it ran under the dishwasher. I still get the heebees when I have to walk over there. I keep thinking it's going to run out at me. Scared me to death!

Lady Gaga

OH, HOW EXCITED I AM!!!!

I'm going to the Lady Gaga concert and I can hardly contain my excitement. She's a nut as you can see by the photos I've put up. I thoroughly enjoy her music though.

She is so crazily AWESOME!

 She met the Queen of England! Super awesome, right? I think so!

The concert is GA, so I'm going to get there early so I can be up close and personal with Lady Gaga. I am super excited!

You're going to catch a cold from the ice inside your soul.

These lyrics are brilliant. I have listened to this song over and over again. I love it. I'm a little obsessed.

As I'm sitting in my bed at 1:20am (thanks to the stupid decision of Dr. Pepper at 10:30pm) I'm again listening to this song thinking about they lyrics and I realize they are for me. One of my friends once told me that my heart has a diamond shell over the top so as not to let anyone in. I don't let people into my life very much and when I do, they are in for the long haul. It can't be just for a little bit. I guess it's because I think that my life is some sort of an embarrassment, so not a whole lot of people know everything about me. Just a precursor... this post is going to be extremely random. My brain is moving at a crazy fast pace and I'm cold so I'm just typing to be done.

Along with the paragraph before this before my precursor... Thursday I was training in Alabama for my new job which I'm hoping I grow accustomed to. During my lunch break I really wanted to call one of my friends who knows me a little too well. Sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself. Anyway while we were talking he asked me if I had heard the new P!nk song. I highly recommend it. I would just type P!nk Perfect Clean Version in the search bar of youtube to check it out. You'll notice why you want the clean version when you see the complete title. Anyway... I hadn't heard it yet but right when I got home, I checked it out. At that time I realized I have the most inspired friends. This song is exactly how I feel all the time. There is a line near the middle where she talks about changing the voices inside your head and getting them to like you instead. That has been one of my main struggles lately. Especially tonight. I was laying in bed and I had a gentle panic attack thinking about my job and how I'm never going to get the hang of it and how it's just too hard. Granted, I really don't like it very much, but it's a job and it makes me feel like I'm not such a lazy butt just laying around the house. However, Yesterday being my first day on site really had me discouraged. As a couple we sold 4 tests. I sold 1 of them. I'm not a very good salesperson. Mostly because if someone tells me they don't want something after I've given them all the information, I'm not going to push them into buying. They have already told me they don't want it, but let me tell you why you secretly do want it. You don't even know that you want it. I would go super crazy if someone did that to me. But it had me feeling super inadequate and I wasn't even doing half the tests I'll be doing here in Georgia. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. I don't really know what I'm trying to say or where I'm going with this post. I think I just needed to get this stuff out. So here it is. I'm sorry that I'm all sorts of scattered. Remember that it's 1:37am for me. I love you all!

Brittney, this one's for you

I saw your comment on my post today and and remembered I told you I would write a post about how I am more stubborn than Caleb.

Reason #1 - When I set my mind to something, it is done. No questions asked. It's just done. One way or another it gets done.

Reason #2 - When Caleb has an idea that I don't agree with... We go with my idea. Always. Always will be.

Reason #3 - I do what I want.

Really, I don't know why I'm more stubborn than Caleb. I just like to think I'm better than him in one way and that's all I've got! He is who I aspire to be like. He is so much better than I will ever be in every aspect. He is so grown up and super smart. He can do anything. He's the best little brother I could have ever asked for!

I had to put that in there because I knew my mom would read this and tell me I was a bully. She always takes Caleb's side! :)

The big M...

So remember in my last blog post I mentioned I wanted to go back to school and study Culinary Arts? I still do... I'm just putting it off a semester or so... On December 29, 2010, my brother asked me if I would move to Georgia with he and his family. After much consideration (2 days) I decided I would do it. So, I am now looking for a job here in Georgia. I'm actually looking forward to church on Sunday so I can meet some new people and perhaps get out a little more. I'm afraid to drive myself around because I don't know where anything is and I get lost enough in Utah. I can't imagine how lost I would find myself here. The ward I'll be going to is in Alabama and is a 40-ish minute drive. I'm really excited for the new-ness of it all. I've been needing a new place to be. I've gotten a little too comfortable in my old ways I think. Unfortunately this is all I've got time for today. I am doing well though and trying to figure out what it is I'm supposed to be doing here! I wish you all a Happy New Year!