Wednesday, November 2, 2011


About a month ago someone in my ward gave a talk on receiving answers to our prayers. She said often times we receive answers to our prayers when we least expect them. Well, on Sunday I was sitting during the sacrament and I was praying my little heart out. As soon as the talks started, I knew it was going to be one of THOSE Sundays. You know the ones where you get 5,000 answers all at once and all of them are to BE PATIENT. I tell you what, I have never been one to enjoy the virtue of patience. I am the type of person, if I'm giving someone a ride and they are going to make me late, I will leave them. I used to tell my roommates that if they wanted a ride to church with me, they had to be ready at a certain time, because I do not wait.  I think telling someone to have patience is a nice way of saying settle down and stop whining at me. Well, that night, I went to our dessert night, and I started talking to my friends about my concerns and my sacrament meeting full of, "Anna be patient." I had this blinding flash of the obvious… I am a control freak. I hate not being in control. I hate having to depend on other people for anything. As I shared this with my friends, one of them said, "Yes, but you have to realize who you are having to depend on." I guess I didn't think of that. Which is stupid because of how obvious it is to me. It's not like having to depend on someone who has never come through for me. I am depending on the one person who has never let me down. The one person I am always able to count on. The one person who knows me better than I could ever know myself. It doesn't mean that this patience thing is easy. It doesn't mean that I'm going to like giving up my control, but it does mean that I am going to try as hard as I can to just be patient. He knows what He's doing. He knows what I need to do in order to find true happiness. I just wish He would hurry up and get me there. The funny thing is, that I had a 7 year plan. I was going to go to culinary school, which depending where I go is 2-3 years. Then I will have my restaurant for 3-4 years again depending on the school. That is 3-4 years I will have of being a workaholic and I wont be MIA from my family. So when I am 32 years old, I can start my family. I was all sorts of excited about my 7 year plan up until a couple weeks ago. Now, I just have to put my trust in my Father in Heaven because He knows what is best for me. It shouldn't be as hard as it is, but I'm trying as hard as I can.

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