Sunday, January 1, 2012

I ain't missin' you...

WARNING… This post is going to be a depressing one with a happy ending… This morning before church, John and I said goodbye and I went off to church because I had to teach, and he started the drive to California. Last time we said goodbye, I cried like a baby, so I was kind of prepared. I woke up early and made him some lemon bars and a mix CD for the road, which is freaking AWESOME!! I'm listening to it right now as I wallow in self pity. ;) Here's why this is so difficult for me. John and I talk about EVERYTHING. We don't really have barriers with each other. I don't have anyone else like that in my life. It's really hard for me to say goodbye to that. I know that this is all new age and stuff, and I can talk to him online and over the phone and stuff, but it just isn't the same thing. I can't see his facial expressions and he can't see mine. He can still tell when I'm holding something back, but I can't tell when he's holding something back. Lately my John radar has been off anyway and I contribute that to the fact that he's not here. We can still pretty much have conversations just by looking at each other, but it was a bit harder for me. I miss this kid like crazy. He believes in me, which makes it easier for me to believe in myself. He knows just what to say to make me laugh super hard. He can embarrass me, which is hard because I just don't get embarrassed.
I can/cannot wait to meet the amazing woman he will marry. She is going to have to be amazing because he deserves nothing less than that. I miss him like crazy!!

On a happier note… I got a job this week. I'm a receptionist for a company called Horizon Property Management. HOORAY!!!