Saturday, January 22, 2011

You're going to catch a cold from the ice inside your soul.

These lyrics are brilliant. I have listened to this song over and over again. I love it. I'm a little obsessed.

As I'm sitting in my bed at 1:20am (thanks to the stupid decision of Dr. Pepper at 10:30pm) I'm again listening to this song thinking about they lyrics and I realize they are for me. One of my friends once told me that my heart has a diamond shell over the top so as not to let anyone in. I don't let people into my life very much and when I do, they are in for the long haul. It can't be just for a little bit. I guess it's because I think that my life is some sort of an embarrassment, so not a whole lot of people know everything about me. Just a precursor... this post is going to be extremely random. My brain is moving at a crazy fast pace and I'm cold so I'm just typing to be done.

Along with the paragraph before this before my precursor... Thursday I was training in Alabama for my new job which I'm hoping I grow accustomed to. During my lunch break I really wanted to call one of my friends who knows me a little too well. Sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself. Anyway while we were talking he asked me if I had heard the new P!nk song. I highly recommend it. I would just type P!nk Perfect Clean Version in the search bar of youtube to check it out. You'll notice why you want the clean version when you see the complete title. Anyway... I hadn't heard it yet but right when I got home, I checked it out. At that time I realized I have the most inspired friends. This song is exactly how I feel all the time. There is a line near the middle where she talks about changing the voices inside your head and getting them to like you instead. That has been one of my main struggles lately. Especially tonight. I was laying in bed and I had a gentle panic attack thinking about my job and how I'm never going to get the hang of it and how it's just too hard. Granted, I really don't like it very much, but it's a job and it makes me feel like I'm not such a lazy butt just laying around the house. However, Yesterday being my first day on site really had me discouraged. As a couple we sold 4 tests. I sold 1 of them. I'm not a very good salesperson. Mostly because if someone tells me they don't want something after I've given them all the information, I'm not going to push them into buying. They have already told me they don't want it, but let me tell you why you secretly do want it. You don't even know that you want it. I would go super crazy if someone did that to me. But it had me feeling super inadequate and I wasn't even doing half the tests I'll be doing here in Georgia. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. I don't really know what I'm trying to say or where I'm going with this post. I think I just needed to get this stuff out. So here it is. I'm sorry that I'm all sorts of scattered. Remember that it's 1:37am for me. I love you all!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Brittney, this one's for you

I saw your comment on my post today and and remembered I told you I would write a post about how I am more stubborn than Caleb.

Reason #1 - When I set my mind to something, it is done. No questions asked. It's just done. One way or another it gets done.

Reason #2 - When Caleb has an idea that I don't agree with... We go with my idea. Always. Always will be.

Reason #3 - I do what I want.

Really, I don't know why I'm more stubborn than Caleb. I just like to think I'm better than him in one way and that's all I've got! He is who I aspire to be like. He is so much better than I will ever be in every aspect. He is so grown up and super smart. He can do anything. He's the best little brother I could have ever asked for!

I had to put that in there because I knew my mom would read this and tell me I was a bully. She always takes Caleb's side! :)

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The big M...

So remember in my last blog post I mentioned I wanted to go back to school and study Culinary Arts? I still do... I'm just putting it off a semester or so... On December 29, 2010, my brother asked me if I would move to Georgia with he and his family. After much consideration (2 days) I decided I would do it. So, I am now looking for a job here in Georgia. I'm actually looking forward to church on Sunday so I can meet some new people and perhaps get out a little more. I'm afraid to drive myself around because I don't know where anything is and I get lost enough in Utah. I can't imagine how lost I would find myself here. The ward I'll be going to is in Alabama and is a 40-ish minute drive. I'm really excited for the new-ness of it all. I've been needing a new place to be. I've gotten a little too comfortable in my old ways I think. Unfortunately this is all I've got time for today. I am doing well though and trying to figure out what it is I'm supposed to be doing here! I wish you all a Happy New Year!