I can't sleep because I have 10 gagillion things on my mind.
This is a really dumb thing to be thinking about at 4:00am but... have you ever done something really stupid and no matter how long ago it was, you still feel super dumb having done it? That's why I can't sleep. It was in November. Something I'm sure the person with me doesn't even remember, but I still feel SUPER STUPID. Does this happen to anyone else? You know that feeling you get too? Like you can't really breathe? I don't even know why I thought of it randomly. It's not something that is always on my mind. I don't know!! I sure wish I could just forget it and fall asleep.
On a side note, I've been contemplating lately about moving back home from Georgia. I'm sure that most of you can tell that I miss my family terribly and want nothing more than to be with them. I have really been thinking a lot about my little niece Audrey and how much I love that girl. When I went home in March Jaime asked me to pick the kids up from school. When SJ walked out he looked around to see if anyone was watching him, then he quickly gave me a side hug so no one would see him. He's already too cool for school. Audrey came out and as soon as she saw me she started running to me and jumped on me and wrapped her legs around me and just hugged me for like 30 seconds. I miss that little girls so stinking much! She then asked me not to go back to Georgia.
I've been thinking a lot about why I came... Mostly because people have been asking me a lot. I think I figured it out. I think my reason was to help me be a better person. In the 6 months I've been here, a lot has happened. I discovered a lot about myself. I've learned that I have the most amazing family in the world and I took that for granted. They are so willing to help me anyway they can. Mostly, I made the decision to go through the temple. I still remember the phone call I made to my dad that day. I don't think I'll ever forget what he said to me. I had just told him that I decided it was the right thing for me to do and he said, "I was going to call you today and tell you that the decisions you make today will effect the rest of your life." No one knew that I had been prayerfully considering going through the temple. I hope I remember the day I went the rest of my life. I will never forget how nervous I was. Mostly I hope to never forget the overwhelming amount of love I felt. Almost all of my family was able to make it. It was the best day I have ever had. I don't think I would have made the decision if I was still at home. Or if I had, I don't think it would have been for the same reasons. I am grateful that I have learned so much.
OH... I also learned that if my phone is dying I need to call or text someone to tell them that my phone is dying and approximately what time I'll be home. Otherwise, I get grounded. Sorry.
2 weeks ago