Anna shy? Since when?

OK, story time... Gather round. I am never shy. I talk to pretty much everyone all the time. I have never been shy. Why am I shy now? Do you think someone is trying to tell me something? Maybe I need to shut my mouth every once in a while? I don't know what's going on with me. OK I do. Here's the story...

There is a guy in my ward who is freak awesome. Really cute, super nice to everyone, and honestly (I know it sounds lame but...) he's perfect. Not kidding you. He doesn't have a mean bone in his body. I have a serious crush on the kid. I studder when I go to talk to him. I invited him to come to dinner with a group of us after FHE and he couldn't. Normally I wouldn't let it go, but I just didn't have anything to say to him. I felt like such an idiot which is really nothing new, but non-the-less... I am just really shy around him. I can't even make eye contact. He did give me a hug tonight after he told me he couldn't go and I thought I was going to break out into a serious giggle fit. Lucky for me I supressed the giggles until I was out of earshot from him. I am such an embarrassment!!! How do I break this crazy streak of awkwardness?

Anger and Frusteration

Why would someone go through another person's drawer at work. Not only go through, but take $4 out of it plus the change in an envelope? I know everyone I work with very well; I'm positive it wasn't any of them. I keep my drawer very organized. Everything has it's place. I opened it this morning and everything was disheveled as if someone was looking for more money on top of the money they had already found in my drawer. True it was only $4. It could have been a lot more, but it's the principle behind the matter. Why would you go through someone's drawers looking for money. Especially at your place of employment. I'm sure it was one of our cleaning people. The odd thing is that it was my drawer. No one else's had been touched. I suppose I just needed a moment to vent about my situation although I know it will not change anything. I am done now and I am trying really hard to remain calm. I suppose this is probably what happened the first time when people decided it would be a good thing to start locking their doors. It started off with $4 and a little change.

The New Church Calling...

So I once again am teaching Relief Society which, at first, really made me happy!!! However, the first lesson I have to teach is on Free Agency. This topic has been covered 400 gadgillion times! How am I supposed to teach it a way that no one has ever taught it before? So if anyone has any insight on how to help me out!! Any idea is an awesome idea!!

Oh, The Humanity!!

My nephew says this statement to me from time to time. It makes me laugh rather hard. However currently I use the phrase now to try to explain just how this week has gone for me. Monday was crazy busy because it was the first day we were opened since December 31 (That seems like forever ago for me) Tuesday-Friday was DEAD!!!! I have been so bored. I finished a whole book. Yup that's right. Me, I finished the whole book. Wednesday was pretty eventful because one of my co-workers went into labor during the baby shower we were throwing for her. That's about it. Pretty crazy!

A lot of funny memories have been poppin into my head lately. I was remembering the summer after my sophomor year of high school when I was on Orchestra Tour. We went to Disneyland and California Adventure. We were walking on the sidewalk and I must have said something rude to Barbosa but he hit me. Not hard by any means, and it was on my arm. I don't remember it hurting at all. Anyway, after he hit me this lady came running over to him and just started beating the snot out of the kid. Then she starts yelling, "Violence is not the answer!" Then she walked away. I was laughing so hard I had to sit on the curb because I couldn't walk anymore. His face was priceless. It was total shock. It was awesome. My other funny memory was just a few weeks ago. A girl at work and I got in a candy fight. It was after hours so no one really cared that we were throwing candy at each other. I was sitting in a chair by another friend that I work with. I got hit with a piece of candy and went to pick it up and the chair rolled out from under me. I fell flat on my face. Those of you who know me, know that I fall a lot so this is not embarrassing to me by any means. I just popped up and threw candy right back. For my funniest story... About 2 months ago, I had a meeting really early in the morning and I was running late, so I ran downstairs to grab my jacket out of the dryer and I ran out the door. I got to the meeting and sat there for an hour. After the meeting I went to get a drink with a girl at work. I got back to my desk and took my jacket off. I could see something pink in the hood of my white jacket. After further investigation I say outloud (that was not on purpose by the way) "Why do I have underwear in the hood of my jacket?" That's right folks. I know some other department was talking about me all day. Wondering why the girl in front of them had underwear in her jacket. I was so red (which is something that doesn't happen very often.) I could have crawled in a hole and died. Needless to say, I always check my hood of my jacket when I pull it out of the dryer.

Random feelings

In August a very good friend of mine passed away. Unfortunately/fortunately I was in Fish Lake for the Tippetts family reunion so I wasn't able to go to the funeral. Because of this I am grateful but at the same time I never really got closer with the whole incident. I'll walk down the hallway where she sat at work expecting to see her. Or I'll say something and think she would think that it was hilarious so I go to call her and remember that she isn't there. It was very hard for me at first because when I first went back the work after it happened I would see her name on tasks she sent to me, or patients would call in and ask for her. No one said anything about her at work. All we would say to patients was that she no longer worked with us. We never talked about her. While it's still very hard for everyone I work with who knew her, we progressively are able to talk about her now, 5 months later. Mostly we talk about all of the funny things she did. This woman had no personal space and she loved to make others come out of their bubbles. One of my favorite memories of her was one day when I was living in Provo, I hadn't seen my mom in weeks because I was trying to save gas. I called my mom while I was at work because I missed her, though I couldn't tell her that. My phone call was based around what I was to do with the garbage can once I moved back home. After I hung up with my mom I started crying because I missed her so much. Janiel saw me crying and came over to ask me if everything was OK and she said, "You know, you're mom would be so tickled if she knew you were here at work crying because you miss her and she's only 20 minutes away from you." She just gave me hug and told me to go see my mom. She was such an amazing lady. I'm sure that when I die, the first person I will look for will be her. She is one of the best people I've ever met and I miss her like crazy!!

This is a picture of my "little brother" and myself the day of his missionary farewell. I have finally pinpointed one reason I've been so depressed lately. Caleb is my cousin and he's been my best friend since before my sophomore year of high school and we would drop everything any time one of us needed the other. We chat every Wednesday via very quick e-mails and about 2 weeks ago I asked him if, by reading my e-mails from the past month or so, he knew why I was feeling the way I was. He asked me if I had been reading my scriptures and praying as often as I was a year ago. I laughed at him and told him that the question he had asked was a mom question. I asked him if he was going to give me a scripture reference. I guess that's my defense mechanism to joke around and change the subject as quickly as it had been brought up. Before he brought it up, I just thought that my depression had been brought on by loneliness, which in part, I still believe that is part of my depression, but it's not the major part of it. So my new goal, thanks to Caleb is to read and pray as often as I was when I was truly happy!!

On another note, Possibly connected with my depression... I have been quite the scrooge this Christmas season. My family turned on the Christmas music in November. I don't normally listen to Christmas music until December, or if I'm really feeling in the  mood I'll listen to Christmas music maybe once in a different month, but not very often. It usually has to be in December. While normally I don't mind if someone wants to start their Christmas music a little early, this year it would make me super angry. I would just go sit in my room and sulk because of Christmas music. It was a little odd for me. I usually love the Christmas season, but not this year. I didn't listen to Christmas music until Christmas day because it would just irritate me. I am a little weird. I'll even be the first to admit it.

This weird-o funk has had some good things come of it as well. One of my best friends from high school and I haven't really been that great of friends lately. In fact both of us had decided that we would never be friends again. On one of my really low days, I called her to see if we could just talk and we realized that the fight we had, was stupid and we are working on being friends again. It actually has been very nice. I realized how much I missed her. So, I suppose that it's been a good month in a way as well.

Oh, how I LOVE driving in the snow!!!

I am constantly joking to my coworkers about getting stuck in a snowbank in Mapleton because they don't plow the roads. Well, this morning I left an hour early to get to work. I was pulling out of the parking lot of the park next to my house and since there is such a large dip in the road there, I was driving on the sidewalk to where it's level with the road. I mis-judged horribly and got quite stuck in the snow. Lucky for me the City Tree people were just getting to work and 3 men I couldn't really see (though I'm sure they were highly attractive due to the fact that they helped me) came to my rescue. They were very kind and pushed me out of the snowbank. I did feel like an idiot because I was on the sidewalk and I'm sure they thought I was stupid, but the trick usually works. I'm just sayin'. I hate driving in the snow.