Yesterday was one of my "no good very bad days." It seemed like everything I did yesterday was wrong and I just couldn't win. I was not very happy and I really didn't want to do anything but cry. I got home and remembered that I needed to go to institute. I especially like going the week I teach because I feel like it brings the spirit in my class more. Sister Swan is the most intelligent people I have ever known. She knows everything there is to know about the gospel plus so much more. She reminds me of the dad from My Big Fat Greek Wedding because she will just spout out were a word came from. I love her class so much. I look forward to going. However yesterday, I really didn't want to go. I was all sorts of upset about how my day went and I didn't want my anger and frustration to take away from the spirit in the class. Or if you would like the truth... I just wanted to be angry about my day! I wanted a reason to be mad. I didn't want to feel the spirit and learn. I just wanted to stew. However, I knew that a certain someone would be going to institute because I invited him. So I got dressed, debated on how to do my hair, fixed my makeup and left. I got there a little early, which was good because her class filled up really fast. It was a good thing for another reason too. I asked Sister Swan if she was going to be in church on Sunday. Sister Swan's husband is the High Counselor over our ward so they come to my ward. I love having her in my lesson's because if I say something that is incorrect, she is always very good about correcting me. Basically, I don't ever worry about teaching false doctrine. Anyway... She asked me what my lesson is on this week and as I started telling her it was on the Organization of the Priesthood, my eyes started welling up. I can't say now why I was crying. I'll try to figure it out to tell you. For now, I will go on with my story. I explained to her that I am TERRIFIED to teach this lesson. I could think of 20 gadgillion people who could teach this lesson SO much better than I ever could. Sister Swan gave me a hug and told me that everything would be alright. She told me, "You can do this. You are a great teacher and you will be fine." A girl sitting close by over heard the conversation and after Sister Swan left, she came to me and told me, "I've known Sister Swan for a long time. I know that she's telling the truth. You will be fine."
So remember how I was super angry about life in the beginning and how I just wanted everyone to leave me alone so I could stew over my anger? The lesson was on anger. How we need to recognize the first signs of anger, so we don't become angry. She told us when we become angry to ask ourselves 1 question. "Why am I angry?" Then when I find the reason, I need to stop it or find a solution. Now I know this task is going to be easier said than done. Mostly because I am EXTREMELY quick to anger. At the end of the lesson, I realized that I almost didn't go. Not only would I not have gone, but I wouldn't have learned a lesson that was 100% for me! I wouldn't have felt the comfort of friends. I would have just sat alone in my room and I would have been angry. I LOVE INSTITUTE!!!!! I can't even put into words how much I love it. My testimony grows so much every week from going. After the lesson, Sister Swan came up to me and told me I could go to her house anytime for material. I'm sure this woman has a whole library dedicated to the gospel. She is one of my very favorite people in this world. I love her and her lessons so much!