May

I knew that May was going to be a crazy month, what with 3 weddings, 4 birthdays and 1 awesome mothers day, but I didn't know it was going to be this stressful. On May 11th I went to my first ob-gyn appt. As she was doing my breast exam, she felt a lump. Working in a Dr.'s office, I know that a lot of the lumps found are cysts, but it's still a little scary. My Dr. wanted me to get a mammogram, which freaked me out a little more, because I knew there were other ways to know if it was just a cyst without going to a mammogram first. I scheduled my mammogram for May 20th, which also happened to be my best friends wedding. I decided not to tell him about anything yet, because who really wants to hear about that on their wedding day or anywhere near for that matter? I went down to have my mammogram, and the first thing the lady asked me was, "How old are you?" I responded with, "I'm 22." and she said, "Wow, you know that's really young, right?" At that point, I just started bawling. She felt really bad for making me cry and was hugging me and trying to make me feel better, but nothing really helped. She handed me a box of tissues and continued on with the questions. By the way,don't ever let anyone tell you that a mammogram doesn't hurt, because the pain alone is enough to make you bawl. When that was over, I was expecting to go put my clothes back on and go back to work, but instead, they wanted me to stay to have an ultrasound as well. I called my boss to see if it was ok if I missed a little more of work, she of course told me yes. As I sat in the room waiting for the ultrasound tech, I couldn't help but freak out a little. I was thinking about how young I was and honestly if it was a cancerous lump, how lucky I would be to have gone to the ob/gyn when I did. But on the other hand, maybe ignorance was bliss. She called me in and I had my ultrasound and she didn't say anything the whole time. I did notice that she kept going over the same spot. When I was done, I walked in and changed my clothes and walked back to the second floor, and back into Internal Medicine. When I walked in I just started crying again and Kathy, my boss, gave me a huge hug and told me that no matter what, everyone there would be there for me. I can't tell you how freaked out I was. A week later, I still didn't have any results. I called their office and they were out. The next day, I received a phone call, and she asked me if I had a minute to talk. Of all the things to say to me, that wasn't the right thing. She told me that all of my labs came back normal, and my pap came back normal, and that the mammogram didn't find anything. I can't tell you how relieved I was. I got off the phone with her and looked at my boss, and both of us cried again and I told her that everything was going to be OK. It was, in all honesty, the most emotional month, I have ever been through. I now know the meaning of the phrase, "emotional roller coaster." I am so happy that everything is OK. I only told one of my friends and after I told her my results, she told me that she was praying all month long for me, and that she knew everything was going to be OK. I am so thankful for the power of prayer. I know that I wouldn't have made it through this month without it. I am also very thankful for my family and my friends. I truly am very blessed. So I thank all of you!!! And I love all of you. This month really made me rethink a lot of things and I know that's what I needed.