4:00am post

I can't sleep because I have 10 gagillion things on my mind.

This is a really dumb thing to be thinking about at 4:00am but... have you ever done something really stupid and no matter how long ago it was, you still feel super dumb having done it? That's why I can't sleep. It was in November. Something I'm sure the person with me doesn't even remember, but I still feel SUPER STUPID. Does this happen to anyone else? You know that feeling you get too? Like you can't really breathe? I don't even know why I thought of it randomly. It's not something that is always on my mind. I don't know!! I sure wish I could just forget it and fall asleep.

On a side note, I've been contemplating lately about moving back home from Georgia. I'm sure that most of you can tell that I miss my family terribly and want nothing more than to be with them. I have really been thinking a lot about my little niece Audrey and how much I love that girl. When I went home in March Jaime asked me to pick the kids up from school. When SJ walked out he looked around to see if anyone was watching him, then he quickly gave me a side hug so no one would see him. He's already too cool for school. Audrey came out and as soon as she saw me she started running to me and jumped on me and wrapped her legs around me and just hugged me for like 30 seconds. I miss that little girls so stinking much! She then asked me not to go back to Georgia.

I've been thinking a lot about why I came... Mostly because people have been asking me a lot. I think I figured it out. I think my reason was to help me be a better person. In the 6 months I've been here, a lot has happened. I discovered a lot about myself. I've learned that I have the most amazing family in the world and I took that for granted. They are so willing to help me anyway they can. Mostly, I made the decision to go through the temple. I still remember the phone call I made to my dad that day. I don't think I'll ever forget what he said to me. I had just told him that I decided it was the right thing for me to do and he said, "I was going to call you today and tell you that the decisions you make today will effect the rest of your life." No one knew that I had been prayerfully considering going through the temple. I hope I remember the day I went the rest of my life. I will never forget how nervous I was. Mostly I hope to never forget the overwhelming amount of love I felt. Almost all of my family was able to make it. It was the best day I have ever had. I don't think I would have made the decision if I was still at home. Or if I had, I don't think it would have been for the same reasons. I am grateful that I have learned so much.

OH... I also learned that if my phone is dying I need to call or text someone to tell them that my phone is dying and approximately what time I'll be home. Otherwise, I get grounded. Sorry.

The Fam...

OK... I admit it. I'm a baby. I miss my family so much that it pains me! Since I got to Georgia I've been debating on if this was the right move. When I put my pros and cons on paper my number one con is always the same. I miss my family like crazy! When I went home in March for the Lady GaGa concert I was super lucky to have some of my plans with my friends fall through so I got to spend time with my mom and my sisters. I also went through the temple while I was home so I got to have most of my family with me. I have the worlds best family. I know that no matter what all of them will be there for me and with me when I need them to be. Although my temple date was set, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to go due to scheduling conflicts I had with my branch president and my stake president here. I was extremely lucky because every member of my family in Utah was there with me. I honestly can't think of a better day. Yes that day trumps the Chris Farley foundation for sure. :) I was so overwhelmed by all of the love. I know my family loves me but that day they were all at the temple for me. I couldn't have asked for a better trip to the temple. I often wonder if while I was in Heaven if I begged and pleaded to be placed in this amazing family. If I looked at this family with two amazing parents and six amazing siblings and said, "Please, can I just be with them? I will have seven of the best examples in the world. They will teach me and be patient with me as I make my own mistakes. Please send me with them?" Although I still kind of complain about the time my Uncle Jim tried to compare me to my sister Christy. "You know, Anna, when Christy was your age, she was just coming home from her mission. She didn't have blue hair." Thank you Uncle Jim, I will keep that in mind. And even though while I was growing up, I never brought my guy friends home because they would all fall in love with my sister Andrea, and I'll admit, I hated her for it. She is one of my very best friends now. Although Josh knows exactly what to say to make me cry, I know it's not on purpose. Whether he's asking me about my car accident that I 100% should not have lived through and I walked away with a bump on my head, or if he's asking me how work is going after I got fired. He can also make me laugh. The man does know his way through Salt Lake so when I get lost, he is always there to guide me to where I need to be. Joe knows his way around Columbus so when I get lost while on a delivery, he's always there to help me as well. Even though he loves to make fun of me for the stupid things I do and say. Melissa is always there when I need a friend. Jaime is always there when I need a break from everything. Then there are my AMAZING parents. There are no two people who will ever measure up to the greatness of these two people. They have taught me so much. I love them immensely. I must admit, hands down, I have the best family of all time and I miss them terribly. What I wouldn't give to have the best of both worlds.

My mom

When I was living in Provo UT, I was about to move back to Mapleton with my family. If I remember right, I think I had a week left in my apartment and no money to pay for gas so I hadn't been home to see my family in about a mont or so. One day I was sitting at my desk at work when I was working at the clinic and I started thinking about my mom and I started crying. Upon further analysis I realized that I missed her. I was living 20 minutes away from her during rush hour, and I missed her. I quickly realized that I needed to call her. I'm not exactly the type of person who can call just to say "I miss you." I need to have a reason. As the phone was ringing I was quickly going through my brain thinking, "What is my reason for calling her?" I heard her say, "Hello?" and I replied with, "Hey mom. I was just wondering, where are we going to put my garbage can when I get home? It will be too big for my room, and you already have one in the kitchen." The garbage can? REALLY?!?!? She sweetly informed me that we would figure it out and our conversation ended.

Now living in Georgia, which according to Mapquest is 30-32 hours depending on the route you take, I cannot express to you how much I miss this woman. She is my hero. She has always been there when I needed someone to talk to. She also always knew when I needed someone to talk to. She is hilarious. I love spending time with her. I remember when I was sick and she would play with my hair. She was the best at that. She taught me that if I want to have a black woman down deep inside, I can have a black woman down deep inside. She taught me, if ever I'm in need of an answer to anything, I can always find it in the scriptures and she could tell me which ones to look through. She is the best person I know. If I turn out to be half the person that she is I'll be pretty amazing! I love her so much.

I think my niece or one of my nephews took this picture and caught her off guard, but none the less, she is my mom and I couldn't ask for a better person to raise me!

I know it's Thursday... But...

Some guys in my branch think the song Friday by Rebecca Black is so horrible that it's hilarious. I personally think it's pretty funny too... until it's stuck in my head. I recently came across this version and well, it makes me laugh! Mom you have to watch the whole thing because one of the guests makes me think of you every time I watch it!

A trip to the Atlanta temple!

Being out of Utah I have had a lot of opportunity I don't think I would have had otherwise. I was asked to help out during the Atlanta Temple Open House on the 24th. I put booties on people as they walked in. Atlanta is a 2 hour drive from Columbus so I had to leave my house at 3:30am to meet by 3:45am so we could leave by 4:00am. For those who don't know, I don't sleep very well at night. In fact it is 2:25am and I am still very much awake... as I was that night. I set my alarm on my phone for pm because I am just THAT amazing! I fell asleep at 2:20am and by some miracle I woke up at 3:20am. I have no idea how. I did as much as I could in 10 minutes and ran out the door. They asked us to be at the temple 2 hours before our shift started. We got there at 6:00am, our shift started at 8:00am, and it ended at 12:00pm. As we were walking back to the car, my heel caught a rock just right and my ankle twisted and I went down. Another well known fact about me is I am a major clutz. I fall all the time! I took a picture of my two day old battle wounds so my road rash doesn't look as bad as it was. 

I jumped right up like I usually do. I didn't even know I was bleeding until I tried to wipe all the rocks off. I guess that's what happens when you fall all the time. All in all, it was a really great experience. 

Why do I do this to myself?

Lately I've been watching movies that make me cry. Not just one glistening tear cry, but full on bawl my eyes out cry. My favorite one is:

I love this movie. Not only does it make me cry, but it makes me laugh too. It's my favorite movie to cry to! I'm just sayin' that if I was married to Gerard Butler and he was writing me SUPER cute letters, I would have the same reactions as Hilary Swank does. Just sayin'!

P90... HUH?!?!

OK so I gave in. I bought P90X and we are starting tomorrow. I must admit that I'm more than scared. I'm almost passed terrified! Tonight we did the fitness test to see if we can really do it and well... all of us passed. I'm still quite afraid. I've had an on-going battle with my weight and I have mostly given up. I've decided that this will be my last resort. I figured that since I spent all this money on it, it will hopefully give me motivation. I'm going to do it and it's going to give me EPIC results! Well... it will be an early morning for us tomorrow, so I'll see ya in 3 weeks to tell you if I'm alive or not!